memory

I am writing this lines just for the word i been running known memory
It's been pushing me hard making me loose everything i once to be holding
I been looking at it for long with all that thing run tears of me
All i have learned from is to be loosing since i been watching
All i been learning is to be holding it too tight been killing
But it's all i have got now to say what been my belonging
So i am writing every memory i been holding making me crazy
So first come the day when i saw him leave me all alone here moving away
I been terrified and shaken and it's driving me crazy and i just can't say it
It goes like a childhood memory making you go weak and go slow
And it's the one which makes me go crazy all over again and again too
Listening to those noises of playing around with my siblings to be
Looking at that face of my dad having his eyes all over me
And night when he used to go sleepless with mom sitting next too
I been dreaming to be the one they always been too
And that's how i got my first life real hero who made me who knows
And here i stand in this light holding a shadow which i wanna be for him too
We been listening music for long we been trying to chase that song
So i choose to move ahead and i had a small crush on someone i feared
I feared every time i told her what i had in me hiding inside
I used to talk to my father telling his picture every story i had with her
All i wished once was his to come off that picture like a cartoon story
Yeah i know i been going too hard and crazy so are going to be my lines
Trust me i still believe deep down in there she was the one i wanted to be with
But now the paths been split just a day before i celebrate a day i messed with my dad
And no one ever knew what i had been feeling in there just dreaming be a shadow of you
My steps are still been cold while i am scared to loose you
So i turned back once and face the fear i been running all along
And all i saw was holding to my dad while i was sick and feeling cold
And i saw him scolding all over me for yelling out on mom once to be
A tears run right away while i look at those part of me to be
I stand all alone in a matter of no where lost in dark with place unknown
All i been missing is a touch of my mother who been protecting
She been hard she's been too tough but always been my world to be
Word's can't ever fill the efforts she ever had it all for me
And all i remember is a show of her standing right next to me
So i chose to hold on every memory as they are the one who fuel my journey
I know it's been little emotional some might be surprised to find a part of me
So that's how i learn to write that how i learn to be shining bright in a darkest nights.

-Nitish